National Service

England 2-0 Andorra (World Cup Qualifiers)

My next door neighbour who works for the FA has asked me if I would like to go with her to watch England v Andorra at Villa Park. I could be at Boston United v Solihull instead, getting paid, but it's England, the white St George's flags are flying high on every bypass bridge right now, so why not. I just hope they're better than the last time I saw them play against Senegal.

I'm still an England member, but not one that regularly attends as many matches these days. I formerly paid around £5k a year for a corporate membership at Wembley over six or seven seasons long, but got sick and tired of the paper aeroplanes being thrown on me from the tiers above, they'll be none of that nonsense today, I hope.

So just sporadic international appearances for me these days, it does help though with a neighbour in the know. She gives me important intel too, like players kit sizes which is her area of expertise. Apparently Djed Spence has asked for XL so he can drop the baggy look, the only other XL wearer is Dan Burn which is an issue, because with only one International window remaining after this one, England are running out of 'biggest sized shirts and shorts' ahead of their new kit release early next year. I'm told there's also a lad in the U17's wearing XL. Sixteen year old forward Brian Madjo is huge and plays for Metz in France, he is a prospect so hot that he even had his kit flown especially out to him ahead of the game in Germany against Venezuela on Thursday. A sad situation in the match was that some England players perhaps including him, were racially abused and were asked by officials if they wanted to walk off the pitch, which they did for a short time before at least winning the match 2-1. Madjo in full fresh XL clobber on the scoresheet too.

Back to today. It's an hour's drive from mine and my neighbours door to Villa Park, we've been told we can park at her friend's nearby but as we drive past the packed Witton Arms pub where England fans are queuing to get in, we find a much quieter boozer called the Yew Tree on Witton Lane, a ten or fifteen minutes walk from the ground with ample parking opportunity outside.

It's £3 to get in. Apparently all the pubs on matchday charge the same, so we cough up the cash begrudgingly and enter for an hour with a Birra Moretti whilst watching the lower league goals go in on Soccer Saturday.  At one stage as the crowd gathers some more I say to the barmaid "you'll be glad when we've gone I bet". She replies. "You want to see this place at 2am, all I can see are rows of heads waiting at the bar" It's that sort of pub.

The Venue

The walk up the Witton Road is not one I've done before, but is pretty straightforward especially if you're located in the Doug Ellis Stand, or North Stand, which unfortunately we are not, so a walk through the busy car park to the back of the Trinity Road Stand is our mission, as my neighbour spots Morgan Gibbs-White's other half getting out of her car, Djed Spence's mum is taking a selfie with a young fan who spots her in full Nike England shirt with rightly her own sons name on her back.

Inside the stadium we stop off for a quick drink, before walking up to our seats ahead of the anthems, just, we are still trying to figure out the row layout as 'God Save' is being sung. Finally, in our spot, row 28 of the Trinity Road Stand, bottom tier, but perched up just behind the media desks, it's a cracking view and you feel close to the action, the steep incline has you more 'over' the pitch than set back away which always helps when creating a cracking atmosphere.

And it is a cracking atmosphere, four sides of claret and blue seating draped in largely white, flags are plenty, as action gets underway in this famous old stadium, supporters expecting goals from England, but it's not quite the night we all want.

The Game

The stale state of England internationals against inferior opposition, I've been here many times before, basically, Andorra, with their part time and Spanish based third or fourth tier players, they play damage limitation, actually really well, coached by Koldo Alvarez, they line up with two banks of five and have no interest in going forward, which really makes it hard, even for England's world renowned highly paid superstars, international football is tough these days, you don't get rolled over nines and tens like you used to, as long as you set up right, which Andorra do.

But we still expect, we want England to excite, we want movement and skill, high level technique, stars starring too talented for these ultra defensive minds, gaps will appear, eventually, but Thomas Tuchel's rigid system is to pass the ball, pass the ball some more, get to the edge of the area, try another pass, and when it gets cleared away, repeat.

The Score

There's actually no shots on target other than an Eberechi Eze effort tamely into the goalkeepers clutch from the edge of the area, Eze is playing number ten, but fails to re-ignite his former Crystal Palace form, now an Arsenal man, he's quiet, often taking a touch too many and can't get it out of his feet.

Harry Kane has hardly moved, I've hardly seen anyone get up and support him, then suddenly Madueke who's at least tried to be creative, puts a hopeful ball into the box, and it's headed into his own net by Garcia. Funny, that the first real ball of quality that gets played into the area from out wide, also contributes to a goal.

We can't wait for half time fast enough and are down the stairs ahead of the whistle, the neighbour wants a drink so we go down to the kiosk where I'm passed upon order two free pints of Poretti as the card machines are broken. Result, as I wonder why they actually gave the pints away, instead of shutting up shop, I presume they thought it would be better, to keep peace or cause a riot, so nice gesture that was win win for those involved.

There's a couple of oohs and aahs as we head back to our seats a few minutes into the second half, Eze has gone close again and Elliot Anderson, on debut, should have scored, he's played well and is the one bright light on a dim days play but Declan Rice provides at least some more joy, he's ran in the box late to get on the end of a brilliant Reece James cross. It's a classic number eight goal, headed down, made by wing play via the overlapping full backs, like football used to be, the way we all want it to be.

Hardly a bum is lifted off their seat, just a mild fist pump for Rice's goal, but the bums soon take off as fans boredom creeps in when a number of subs are made, and fail to make any real difference. By the time it's all over, the stadium, like many similar nights at Wembley, is already half empty.

The Stars

Elliot Anderson is official man of the match, and he has that sort of game, where you can tell he's up for it, you can tell he's the one who wants the ball and will make every pass neat and forward, because he's new, keen to impress, to show the nation what he can do, perhaps England should have played with ten other debutants to give the desired effect.

Too many 'stars' who didn't perform. Harry Kane, a player who I would bow down to for his achievements with England, looked slow, lethargic, immobile, well-contained, Marcus Rashford, who every time he steps on the field, has a point to prove, it seems, proved the point that he's probably past his sell by date?

Declan Rice though was a solid six, as he always is, at least, so too Marc Guehi and I thought the whole defence generally were very good, all be it hardly tested, they at times each ventured forward and tried to help out what looked a very stale attack. It was nice to see Reece James who looks to be getting back to fitness following a couple of years too many that have been hit and miss.

For Andorra, their centre halves and whole back line can take credit, Ian Oliveira, as he was when the two nations met in Barcelona, was very solid, aged 20, and reading the game well for one so young, also decent was centre back partner Max Llovera, and right back Biel Borra Font, only nineteen himself, kept a certain Marcus Rashford very quiet.

The Verdict

There's something off with Thomas Tuchel's team but I think we'll know much more about where they are at after Serbia on Tuesday night. The Head Coach seemed happy with his sides work rate after the match, and I wasn't unhappy with a lot of the stuff they did, just that final end ball, and having enough players dare break into enemy territory, to have players just take a risk every now and again, it's all a bit same old, but then during World Cup finals, once England get there, we hope, nobody will remember the qualifying nights when you underwhelmingly beat minnows like Andorra 2-0, and I'll be hoping to erase this game from my memory, as quickly as you can say 'get me on that plane to America'.

The Teams

England: Jordan Pickford, Reece James (Morgan Rogers 68), Marc Guehi (Ezri Konsa 76), Dan Burn, Myles Lewis-Skelly, Elliot Anderson, Declan Rice (Tino Livramento 68), Noni Madueke, Eberechi Eze (Morgan Gibbs-White 78), Marcus Rashford (Anthony Gordon 68), Harry Kane.

Andorra: Iker Alvarez, Biel Borra Font, Max Llovera, Christian Garcia, Ian Oliveira, Moises San Nicolas, Aron Rodrigo Tapia (Adri Gomes 81), Marc Vales (Joel Guillen 59), Pau Babot (Marc Rebes 90), Joan Cervos (Jesus Rubio 90), Cucu (Guillaume Lopez 59).

5:00pm Kick Off. Saturday 6th September 2025, Villa Park, Birmingham (att 39,202).